(Sara has no idea just how many of our conversations are adapted for this blog. In fact, she’s never read this blog and will never know. Names are not changed to protect the innocent, because none of the involved parties are very innocent.)

Snow was falling, cold and wet, all around. The view was beautiful, but the cold always made me consider quitting smoking. Of course, I never have but I’ve given the matter great consideration as I do now, fingers numb and white, nose cold and drippy.

‘So is it wrong that I’m fucking his friend?’ Sara asked me, umbrella shielding her from the flakes and smoke puffing out with each syllable intertwined with steamy breath. She seemed unusually cheerful, considering the breakup had her devestated a few days back. Perhaps it was her cold, which forced to inhale sharply to clear her nose of phlegm, that was distracting her.

‘That’s extremely sexy right there, you know.’

‘I’m sorry! I didn’t even think.’

‘I’m used to it, being a total nonissue. But anyways, no that’s fine. Are you doing it to get back at JD?’

‘Yeah, totally out of spitefulness.’

‘It’s good sex at least, right?’

‘Well, it’s very… I don’t know… humpy.’

‘Humpy?’ the word meaning clear of course, but only because of the root hump, or rather the verb humping, which is also another way of saying “to fuck”. Never heard it ike that before, though.

‘Yeah. It’s just very… ‘ her hips thrusted to and fro very quickly for a second ‘.. You know? I mean it’s.. humpy.’

‘Okay, like “let’s hurry, cause my mom’s going to be home any minute” kind of sex? Like when you’re 16?’

‘Yeah. Course, he was drunk both times, so I can give him some slack.’

‘Sounds like he’s been giving you slack. Honestly, drunk or not, I can’t think of a time I’ve been “humpy” in years. I’ve never been THAT drunk.’

‘Well, third time’s a charm. The guy’s had experience, I mean he’s a bartender and owner, attractive, and probably slept with a lot of women.’

‘But how many repeat customers? Maybe they all left and straightening their skirts though “Well. That was very… humpy” and never returned.’

She laughed.